By releasing emotional tension, allow the unconscious to emerge.
Be brave enough to take the plunge, express your honest, authentic and vulnerable feelings about your experiences.
Art is my way of catharsis. It has served as an avenue to let out repressed emotions that I am unable to express verbally. Art as my best comrade has provided me with a sense of comfort and security.
Of course, I have things I want to change but the core of all is to be grateful for my presence. There is a void that the material world cannot fill, which is self-love. I thought I am only worthy when I live up to the expectations of others in Hong Kong society as “beautiful” and “healthy” body. I had people tell me my boobs were too small and my legs too short to ever hope at being loved by men. I had family member tell me I could not perform my job well anymore because my health could not recover. I drew my sense of self-worth from how other people view me. I allowed for years to let the exterior to determine my value. My worth fluctuated as my health fluctuated. I might not even be aware that I was putting my worth in my looks and what I had until it was gone.
To begin my healing journey, I had to decide to focus on the tiny voice of faith inside me instead of the very loud voice of doubt from others”criticism. My worth does not diminish despite my illnesses and my body shape. My sense of worth is not dependent upon something outside of myself. Getting to know myself is uncomfortable but it is worthy because it helps me get deeper to my own value. The deepest, truest love that I know is internal and cannot ever be judged from the outside.